Pig Noir: Case of The Hardboiled Ham

 

 

 

 

He was a tough porker hanging out at a BBQ joint.

 

~ and no matter how you cut it, his alibi was rock solid.

Surreal Thursday: Shadows’ Speakeasy of Death

The Curious Question of the Frogs in the Kitchen was greatly perplexing and demanded utmost sensitivity.

 

With the Case of The Seven League Chimney Flue now at our backs, Professor Pi and I turned our pensive steps to home. It had been a demanding case, both as an intellectual puzzle and as an emotional calliope. Lady Lydia Van Lilithann, famed tattooed balloonist and explorer, had once again entered Pi’s life like a tigress. She was the only woman to leave marks on the Great Intellect’s heart and mind, for her breath-taking beauty was only matched by her courage and intellect.

 

 

She flew off into the sky certain that just beyond the clouds she would finally solve the mystery that haunted her soul.

I knew, even as we tread down the mist laden street, his thoughts were turning to her last words before she had allowed herself to be carried by the fierce updraft to a fate unknown,…. “ Remember my dear Professor, when I get low, I get high”.

 

Pausing before the door of 237 C  Dough Maker Street, he gave a rueful smile, “ Even Old Carnacki and Charlie Fort would have found this one a real skull cracker. It is right up there with the Curious Case of The Rower, The Bull and the Missing Man with the Dustbin, don’t you think ? ”

 

Turning Dial B released the Curse of the Golden TV Baboon upon him in an instant.

“Only The Uncanny Cane Toad and The Green Monkey’s Kiss  comes close to matching it.”

The only evidence that the Bird Cane ever existed was the strange screen in the parlor.

With that we entered our lodgings and base of operations, little knowing what would soon await us ……..

The entire group of them were dumb founded when the Professor revealed the second screen.

 

 

………And so began Shadows’ Speakeasy of Death.

 

A Note on Processes and inspirations: 1) During a CBC Radio interview ( Listen Here ) of Zach Dundas ( The Great Detective ) about Sherlock Holmes , Dundas comments about the unpublished mysteries that Watson mentioned in the narrative. The strange and suggestive titles of cases not yet ready for the world to know and how they generated or extended the fictional universe.

2) The interview also brought to mind the various interpretations of Holmes and the other fictional characters influenced and connected to him. Steampunk aesthetic owns a great deal of its characteristics to Doyle’s writing. The whole pulp and comic book hero  trope/archetype can be seen  growing out of  much of Holmes persona.  There is also the whole Wold Newton shared universe  which builds on the idea that Holmes stories are true and that other fictional characters share a familial meta-fictional lineage.

 

3) In that woolly frame of mind I listened to online music and read a variety of blogs. While reading a couple of very interesting posts on Derrick Knight’s blog , a couple of his intriguing tales brought to mind  potential mystery stories and possible titles.  Those titles appear in this post and link to his accounts of his life present & past.  Do visit and enjoy them.

4) I added some Victorian & Edwardian touches references,  the fictional occult detective Carnacki the Ghost Finder and the real journalist & documenter of the odd & strange anomalies Charles  Fort are referenced & linked.  For the illustrations in this post, I imagined them belonging to The Casebook of  Professor Pi . As with real books from the era, they come captioned with lines from  various stories  collected in that publication.  Hopefully this surreal exercise in imaginary fiction brought you a smile and chuckle or two.

 

Chew Noir: A Monochrome Mystery

 

 

He  woke up next to an empty teacup. His mouth was as fuzzy as his memory. He looked around at the room, a dog’s breakfast of broken furniture pieces, scattered papers and a flipped battered filing cabinet. Whoever they were, they had been looking for answers. It left a grumbling dread in his stomach to match the taste in his mouth – ashes of  kisses and regrets as smokey as a Turkish rug after a fire sale.

 

He shouldn’t have been surprised. He had been gnawing away at the clues for days, while his gut said it was as simple as a little black dress  and red lipstick. Every lead had him running in circles and tailed by shadowy guys trying to collar him with the goods. All he had to show for it was the fading scent of perfume that lingered like midnight moonshine, and an ache in his heart that was a dusty spider web of pain that clung on past yesterday’s bitter black coffee. It was all there in the stark grey light of morning, if he didn’t bring  her in and retrieve the jewels today, he would have the biscuit.

 

Magical Mud Mystery Ride

 

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Say Farewell to Purloined Vacation Time.

Remember, Magical Mud Mystery Ride,

That’s the Clue !

 

~ Christie Chandler & Dashiell Doyle Adventures Inc. ~

Raygun Television

 

Here is the latest model of a Raygun Television done in the retro-classic Raygun Gothic style. Note the blend of metal & wood with the rustic charm of the digital future. This model comes with High definition 4D capabilities for the most rapid online matter transfer shopping. You can have the future today & yesterday all at the same time with multi-channel recording & doppelgänger settings. Schroedinger setting allows you to observe the show when you are not there .  Security features ensure that inter-dimensional spam is filtered out and Cthulhu fields are blocked.